Modern Madrigals Book 2

Genre: Choral

Mood: Comic

Forces: SATB

Length: 6 Minutes

About

Modern Madrigals Book Two (2007) – Six MORE humorous partsongs, SATB, 6’.

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Text

Gates
This application has performed an illegal operation. Click OK to reboot your computer and lose all your work since 1987.

Helpline
Thank you for calling our helpline. All our agents are currently busy. Choose from the following options:
To hear more options that aren’t what you want, press one. To lose your place in the queue, press two. For service, please go elsewhere. To hear Vivaldi’s Four Seasons, stay on the line.
Your call is important to us. But not so important that we’re going to answer it.

Interview
- So, Minister, what did you have for breakfast this morning?
- Well, let me be absolutely clear on this. The government is fully committed to increased choice in morning comestibles.
- But what did you have for breakfast?
- Well, if you’ll let me finish, I’m coming to that. The previous government left us a legacy of diminished breakfast uptake, and not enough boiled eggs to go round.
- Did you have toast this morning?
- Well, I’m not ruling toast out, but I’m not ruling it in either. But let’s talk about jam. The previous government’s record on jam was appalling.
- Did you have coffee?
- Look, what’s important here is not whether or not I had coffee for breakfast. What matters is that under this government we’ve had record growth in cereals, historically high kippers, and more kedgeree than ever before.

Junk
Dear Mr Collins,
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Kit
Assembly. Extend flaps A & B. Fold tab C over sprocket D. Locate and cement cross bearers into slots in the stringer splice plates making sure they are well seated in position.
Holding the main assembly in your left hand, and the rotating arm in your right hand, use your other hand to insert the mounting pins. If you have any difficulties, call our helpline...

Link
And now on TV, a choice of viewing. On channel one, one hundred best TV moments. On channel six, celebrity snooker. On channel three, reruns of Only Fools and Horses. On channel four, a bunch of misfits locked in a house with nothing to do. On channel five, paint drying.
Have you thought of reading a book?

Programme notes

Modern Madrigals – Book Two

I had no idea where Modern Madrigals Book Two was going to come from - if there should ever be one. But after a particularly good performance of Book One by the Occasional Choir at Tudeley, I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote down the words for letters G to L.

Where Book One dealt with the voice of everyman, Book Two examines our interactions (and irritations) with organisations - the next step in a kind of Maslowian Hierarchy of Niggles. As with the first six, the texts are ephemeral: just as the madrigals of the 16th & 17th centuries had short sell-by dates, so have these. They will perhaps be very vieux chapeau in a year or two – and this is as it should be.

F L Dunkin Wedd
Tonbridge, January 2007

Performances

First performance:
13 Oct 2007, Occasional Choir, Adrian Pitts, Sevenoaks, Kent.